Just Beautiful
by hvane
Summary: Trapped in an unhappy marriage, what will it take for Bella to find herself? And can she find happiness? It’s not until she is introduced to a friend's favorite mechanic that the possibility of a different future opens for her. Bella x Jacob


"**The Indies First Time Writer Challenge" One-Shot Contest**

**Title: Just Beautiful**

**Pen name: hvane**

**Primary Players: Bella, Jacob**

**Rating: M**

**Word Count: 5467**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**To see other entries in the "The Indies First Time Writer Challenge" contest, please visit the C2: .net/community/The_Indies_First_Time_Writer_Challenge/74097/**

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**Just Beautiful**

I had been living in Forks, Washington, with my father ever since March of my junior year in high school. I really didn't want to move to practically the wettest place on the planet, but I knew my mother wanted to be on the road with her new husband who was trying to get a baseball contract. I expected to miss the sun and heat of the Phoenix desert, but something unusual happened. At least, unusual for me. I made friends. Forks was such a small community that the high school was ten times smaller than the one I went to in Phoenix. Also, I was the new kid in town and, therefore, a novelty.

My best friend was Angela Weber, but Jessica Stanley was usually part of the trio. Ben Cheney, Tyler Crowley, and Mike Newton were the guys we hung out with, but we didn't date within the group. Aside from that group I had two other friends. I occasionally had a study date with Edward Cullen and I hung out with Jacob Black from the Quileute reservation when his father and mine were watching the games. Jacob and I were actually really close, but he was a few years younger than me. When we graduated, we all headed to different colleges except Angela, Mike, and me. We went to the Seattle campus of the University of Washington. Jessica headed to UCLA and that was the last we saw of her. We also lost track of Ben, but reconnected with him after college.

After our sophomore year in Seattle, Angela and I got a small apartment and Mike became a regular fixture. One night as we were doing our homework, Mike put my hair behind my ear and said, "You would be sort of beautiful if you grew out your bangs." I didn't know whether to be flattered by the "sort of" comment or mad at the "if" part. Angela rolled her eyes so I knew what she was thinking. As he was leaving that night he said,"So what do you think?"

"What do I think about what?" I asked completely mystified.

"What do you think about growing out your hair?" he asked.

For a moment I was stunned, but I responded,"I'll think about it." Really, what was the big deal about my hair?

"Great, let's celebrate. Why don't just you and me go for pizza and a movie on Friday? A real date." It amazed me that he looked so excited about such a little thing as my bangs.

"Fine, Mike, let's do that," I answered ruefully.

On Friday, Mike arrived at my apartment and saw that Angela was out. "Where's Ang?"

"She had to go home for the weekend because her sister is about to have the baby. So it really is just the two of us. Have you decided which movie we're going to?" As I grabbed my jacket, I said, "I was thinking…." but I never got to finish the sentence.

Mike interrupted, "Why waste an apartment all to ourselves. I'll be back in a minute." And he was gone. A half hour later he walked in with a cheese pizza and a DVD rental. I thought to myself that he just saved himself a few bucks, but didn't focus on that too much because money was tight as we neared the end of our senior year. Later when Mike reached over to kiss me, I let him. It wasn't long before we were a couple. I could tell Angela wasn't thrilled, but she mostly kept her opinions to herself. She was sure I could do a lot better than Mike, but I considered him a diamond in the rough.

About a week later, I decided to get my rather infrequent haircut and, as usual, I had the bangs trimmed. That night Mike walked in and froze. "I thought you agreed to grow your hair."

I couldn't decide whether to take this seriously or laugh it off. I decided on a light approach. "Ahh, Mike, hair grows back. It's not like I got a buzz cut and tattoo."

"But I bought pizza to celebrate when I asked you to grow your hair," he said with a whine.

This was ridiculous! "I thought you bought pizza because it was a date," I responded with some annoyance.

"True, but I really like long hair." Again the whine. Would you like crackers and cheese with that?

I said, "Fine, I'll grow it." But I was thinking that after all these years, the minute we start dating, he wants to change me. But, on the other hand, it was only hair. I wanted to make some Newton changes too

When we graduated, we headed back to Forks. Angela had her nursing degree and had a job at the Forks Community Hospital. Mike majored in business and was ready to take his place in the family sporting goods store. I got my teaching degree and had a position at Forks High School teaching English. At the orientation for new teacher I saw a familiar face.

"Edward Cullen, what are you doing back in Forks? I expected you to head for the big city."

As Edward came to join me, he was wearing the lopsided grin that I remembered from high school. "Bella, it's great to see you. I guess I'm really a small town boy at heart. Are you the new English teacher?"

"Yup. Are you teaching science?"

"Absolutely. I wasn't about to let our field trips to the meadow go to waste," he responded with a smirk.

"You're incorrigible, Edward," I returned with my own attempt at a smirk. "At least, it will be interesting working with you."

After that, Edward and I picked up where we had left off four years before, just great friends.

A year later Mike asked me to marry him and I agreed. When I asked Angela to be my maid of honor, there was a slight hesitation before she agreed. "Angela, you don't seem very excited for me."

Concerned, Ang responded, "Bella, you know I love you and wouldn't do anything to hurt you, but are you sure about Mike? Is this what you want?"

For a second I just stared not comprehending what the problem was. "Ang, I won't be mad. You have to be honest with me."

Angela considered for a moment before she spoke to me. I could tell that what she had to say was going to be as harsh for her to say as it was for me to hear. "Remember when Mike wanted you to grow out your hair and he made a big thing about it?"

"Yes," I responded hesitantly. Where was this going?

"Well, the next thing he did, was ask you to lose five pounds, and you did. Then he became the person who shopped with you, not me, because he wanted to make sure you 'looked good'. He's very critical of you and very controlling."

What she said was right, but I thought that it was a good thing because he just wanted me to be the best I could be. When I said exactly that to Angela, she replied, "The old Bella was the best she could be because it was you and not a created image of you."

I saw that Angela had a valid argument and I promised myself I would be more independent of Mike's whims. I had made some suggestions about his annoying habits and he had done nothing to change them so I shouldn't have to agree to all his desires especially when they differed from what I wanted for myself. But that was easier said than done.

"And sometimes I hear you crying in the bathroom. What is that about?" Now there was real worry in Ang's voice.

I blanched. Here was a topic I did not want to discuss. As much as I shared with Angela, my problems in the bedroom were never up for discussion. "Angela, it's just nerves sometimes." But I could not elaborate even though her look told me that she didn't believe that was the whole truth.

And it wasn't. I looked forward to my first night with Mike. He had his flaws, but he was tender and I believed that he really loved me. That first night in bed, I was very aggressive about giving him all that he wanted. I enjoyed the feel of him beside me and kissing every part of him. After a great deal of foreplay on my part, Mike rolled on top of me, pumped for twenty seconds flat, and rolled off. Now I figured I wore him out so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. The next night I was not as aggressive and his body signals showed that he wanted more of the same from the night before. When I tried to give the same signals to him, he backed off. What was wrong?

"Mike, I am more than a mouth and set of tits," I fumed. "Sex works both ways."

At first Mike looked furious, then he calmed down. "Bella, you don't need to be crude. It's not me. It's you. It's like a swamp down there. No way!"

That was the first time I ran to the bathroom and cried. Fortunately, Angela wasn't home or she would have gotten involved. I felt humiliated and dirty. When I came out of the bathroom, Mike was all sweetness, but he was adamant that there was only one part of his body that was going to touch that part of my body. Again I talked myself into agreeing with him. I could do without the extras, but I was now embarrassed to ask him to spend more time on the grand finale because it wasn't so grand.

Sex became very routine, but I heard that was common with a lot of couples. Definitely not with Angela. She was dating Ben now that he had returned to Forks and was the new Chief of Police after my father had retired.

I expected there to be a lot of arguments over the details of the wedding, but it went along very smoothly.

Shortly after we got married, Mike came home and told me he wanted me to direct deposit my pay into a joint account that he had just opened for us. I didn't like the idea of losing control over my paycheck. "Mike, can't we each have our own checking and savings account and have a household checking and savings?"

"Bella, that makes no sense having our money spread all over the place. My check will go into the account as well. I'll even keep track of all our bills. We'll each have an allowance so we can save for a house."

When he put it that way, it seemed to make sense. Reality set in when my allowance didn't cover my personal expenses. "Mike, this allowance system is killing me," I explained. "If I go for drinks with Angela, I'm short for the rest of the week. You're making the budget too tight."

"How long do you want to live in this apartment? " he exclaimed. "That's the real question. We either make a few sacrifices or we live here."

I knew I was missing out on a lot at this early stage of our marriage, but it was hard to argue with his logic. Pizza and a bottle of inexpensive wine became our big night out. Perhaps I should have argued further, but his reasons for doing things his way appeared logical and he had a knack for making my reasons seem selfish.

As Valentine's Day approached, I asked, "Mike, instead of putting money in the bank this week, can we take some and treat ourselves to a Valentine's Day dinner? It should be a special night."

"The way you want to spend money, we will never have a house. We'll never have anything. But if you insist, we can go out." I didn't insist because the mood was broken. I was beginning to think we would never enjoy ourselves. There was always some reason to bank it, not spend it.

The next weekend was Angela's birthday so I invited her to dinner. Mike would be working so I splurged and made her favorite, Porta Bella quiche and bought a couple of bottles of our favorite wine, Kendall Jackson chardonnay. Mike came home a little early and took one look at the quiche and wine. I could tell he was mad because I "wasted" money on Angela. "What is that crap you're eating? Don't expect me to eat it," he practically growled.

Angela responded before I had a chance. "It's quiche and Bella makes the best in town. And, don't worry, there won't be any left for you."

"You eat all that and your ass will start looking like Bella's," he quipped.

"What?" both Angela and I sputtered simultaneously.

"Well, you have to admit, Bella, that you have gained a pound or two." Then he walked out of the room.

I thought Angela was going to run after him and beat the crap out of him, but she calmed down and we finished our meal. I told her I would handle this. My self-esteem had been taking such a hit that I couldn't fathom continuing this relationship. Later that night Mike told me he would be out of town for a long weekend to attend a convention.

During the next three days I withdrew half of the money from our savings account, packed all my personal belongings and special household items like the wedding gifts from my parents and Angela, stored it all at Ang's and stayed there. When Mike came home from Seattle, he was very surprised when he was served with divorce papers. Before school started, I took back my maiden name, cut my bangs, got a new license, and opened my own savings and checking accounts at a different bank.

Angela and I looked for a place for me to stay and I found a little furnished cottage that I could rent and afford. I was on my own for the very first time by the time school started in September.

One cold and rainy November day I was walking to the parking lot on a Friday afternoon. When I started my car and saw the engine light go on, I yelled,"Oh, shit."

Edward Cullen coincidentally was in an adjoining parking spot. As he rolled down his window he said,"Language, Mrs. Newton. What's wrong?"

"It's my fucking engine light. This is the third time this week it has gone on. I'm going to have to go to the dealership in Port Angeles tomorrow. It sucks wasting a Saturday."

He grinned at my language and said,"Not to worry. There's an excellent mechanic just on the edge of town. I wouldn't let anyone else touch my car. He'll be open now. Go to Jake's," he said with a huge grin on his face.

"What is so funny. Seriously." But he was rolling up the window with that look still on his face. "Fine, fine," I returned with a disheartened sigh as I drove out of the lot and toward the direction that he had indicated. In ten minutes I saw the sign for Jake's and pulled into the drive. A very tall man with long jet black hair pulled into a ponytail was leaning into an engine. "Excuse me," I said, "but Edward Cullen said you would be able to help me."

As the man straightened up and slowly turned around, he said,"Did he now?"

I knew his face. "Jake…Jacob…is that you?" I couldn't help myself. When he turned on the sunshine with his smile, I walked into his arms and bear-hugged him."

"Whoa, little lady, you're gonna smell like a grease monkey." But he returned my hug.

"Jacob, the last time I saw you, I could look straight into your eyes. You were just a kid." He was no kid now. Hello, tall, dark, and handsome! "How did you end up here?"

"Well, Bella, that is a story best told over a good meal." When he said my name, I felt a twinge in my lower belly. "How about you take my truck home and come back at 7:00 and I'll take you out for some fine dining while you thank me for fixing your car?"

"But you don't even know what's wrong with it?" I stammered.

"It will be fixed and I'll see you at 7:00 here." He held up his keys, pointed to the Jeep in the driveway, and said,"Drive carefully."

Again the smile. And the arched eyebrow. I couldn't refuse even if I had wanted to. I went home and got ready for my first date in maybe six years. I should have been one nervous girl, but I was as cool as a cuke. At 6:45, I left the house and headed for the garage. Jacob was waiting as I pulled in. I expected flannels and baggy jeans, but I got a button-down shirt and relaxed jeans. There was no sign of grease. "You clean up real nice, Mr. Black."

"Why, thank you, Ms. Swan," he said as he opened the passenger door to his Jeep for me to get in. He got in, turned to me, and said, "My truck hasn't smelled this good since it rolled off the assembly line." As he spoke, he leaned toward me and deeply inhaled. "You smell as beautiful as you look." Not sort of beautiful, just beautiful.

He backed out of the driveway, and went down the little road that abutted the garage. About a quarter of a mile down was a new log cabin, but log cabin did not do justice to this place. It was massive and incorporated lots of windows. I looked at Jacob with an expression on my face that made him belly laugh. "This is my place. I told you I would take you out for fine dining. It turns out that not only do I love to cook, but I'm really good," he hesitated,"at cooking."

We walked inside to an immense great room. I could see three doors leading to other rooms and a staircase to a loft. "Wow, Jacob, this is impressive. What is your secret to mechanical and culinary fame?"I asked with a smirk.

"Come into the kitchen so I can put you to work while we talk. What wine would you like?"

"Chardonnay would be great."

"I have Cakebread." He poured us each a glass of the best wine ever, raised his glass to mine, and said, "How I've missed you!" There was that twinge again. Then he took out romaine lettuce, crumbled bleu cheese, walnuts, and European cucumber. "You can make the salad. The dressing is already done." As I made the salad and he carved the roast pork with figs, he said,"I owe a lot of this to Edward." That stopped me dead in my tracks. "Remember that moss project that you and Edward worked on at the beginning of your senior year?" I nodded. "Well, that got him really interested in botanicals…his word. He continued looking for various plants and trying to figure out their medicinal uses. I was in the woods hunting turkey when I met up with him in that little meadow you guys used to go to. You know the one?"

I nearly choked as I had a quick vision of Edward and me having a "moment" in the meadow back in high school.

"Are you okay?"

.

"Fine,"I gasped.

"Don't you choke on me now, Bella!"

From the look on his face he clearly meant more than my health. "I'm not going to choke, Jacob,"I said as I looked him straight in the eye. "So then what happened?"

"Well, he told me what he was doing and the next thing I know we are at my grandmother's, our tribal medicine woman on the rez, and the two of them are talking up a storm even though she can barely speak English. After that, Edward came to the rez to meet with Gram a lot. For some reason she trusted that the knowledge she was sharing was for his use and not for a tell-all book. It was the reason Edward majored in chemistry and botany. But, as you know, he hated the lab so he came back here to teach. After I finished high school on the rez, I was working for a dealership in Port Angeles for a while, but I hated it. I always serviced Edward's cars when he was here and I was whining about the job. Right there and then, no questions asked, he fronted me the money for this garage which stands on about twenty acres of land. You would be surprised at how many people would rather come here than travel to Port Angeles. And once I have a customer, they are mine for life."

I could have sworn that he actually leered at me as he said those words. Twinge. By that time, dinner was ready and we sat down to one of the finest meals I had ever eaten. "Jacob, this is sinful. You could be a chef."

"I love being a mechanic. That's what I am." It was almost a challenge. Did I think a mechanic was not good enough? Absolutely not!

"So, Bella, what about you? What's your story?"

"I have no story up until now. I was the controlled and belittled girlfriend and then wife of fucking Mike Newton until one day I threw open the window and yelled out,'I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take it any more'."

Jacob nearly blew great wine out of his nose as I finished. When he recovered, he said, "I never understood what you saw in that little prick." He stood up to clear the plates and I did the same. As I put the dishes into the sink, I turned on the water so I could load the dishwasher. Jacob came up behind me, hesitated while it seemed he sniffed my hair, and took hold of each hand. "I'll do the dishes, honey."

I think he startled himself with the "honey" so he let go of my hands. Before he could back away, I turned to face him and in those few seconds it was like my life flashed before my eyes. My marriage to Mike had been wrong and I regretted that. Suddenly this felt so right. I felt like he was holding his breath so I leaned into his chest and took a deep breath of him that felt right, that felt like home and said, "No, honey, let's do this together." I put my hands on his shoulders and went in for the kill. Man, did he smell good.

Kissing Jacob was extraordinary. It was like jolts of electricity pinged from my navel to that little knob of pleasure in what had once been referred to as a swamp. Jacob was the first to break away by gently pushing on my shoulders. I could feel a tremor through his fingers and there was an expression on his face closer to pain than pleasure. He said, "Bells, please don't break my heart. You know it's been yours since the first time I saw you."

I guess I had known at the time, but I never imagined he could still feel the same way. I replied, "Jacob, the only thing I can promise is that this feels so right and the thought of hurting you breaks my heart as well. If you want, I can back off as we get to know each other again."

With that, his arms encircled me and I disappeared into them. "I know everything I need to know about you." The next kiss stopped me in my tracks and I had to push him away for a second. "What's wrong?" he asked as I shivered.

I put one finger to his lips to quiet him and held up the other in the universal signal for 'give me a minute'. The twinges and pings I had started to feel were sending out spasms as I enjoyed my own little mini-orgasm. It only took a few seconds for Jacob to realize what was the matter as I squirmed in his arms. "You're not serious?" And as I did not comment, the most infuriating smile plastered his face.

As I recovered, I thundered, "Jacob Black, don't you dare take advantage of this situation."

"Oh, Bells," he said as he swept me off my feet, literally rather than figuratively as he had a minute before, "there's no way I'm going to let you get away with this tease." By that time we were at one of the doors which he pushed with his toe. "If all I have to do is kiss you to make _that_ happen, I can't wait to see what other secrets you have."

This was going too fast. "Put me down, Jacob," I said angrily. We were almost at the biggest bed I had ever seen and I was still in his arms. "Now, Jacob." He let go of me and I found myself on his bed. As I tried to get up, he leapt over me, landed beside me, caught me in his arms again, and rolled until I was straddling him. God, not the straddle. His hands were clasping at my waist.

"Jacob, seriously." While his eyes locked with mine, his hands slowly crept up my arms to my shoulders and neck. "Jacob, I'm a little scared here." The hands behind my neck pulled me closer to his face, his gorgeous full lips. "Jacob," I whispered as our lips met. This was not going well. I felt like I was going to hyperventilate and I couldn't catch my breathe. And then the squirming started again, but I was on top. Jacob's eyes nearly rolled back in his head. Bella, I thought, two can play this game. Get it together.

As I sat up, it was very obvious that my squirming had a similar reaction for Jacob. I looked into his eyes, chocolate eyes that were melting as they looked at me, and said, "Jacob, _honey_, I am going to kick your ass." I reached up and pulled my shirt over my head, I reached behind and undid my bra and threw it across the room never once losing eye contact. And I sat there for a moment, holding his eyes on mine, daring him to blink first. I raised my hands over my head, produced a huge theatrical yawn as his eyes slid to my breasts, and said, "My work is done."

As I made to unstraddle, Jacob growled,"You're killing me."

"Then play nice,"I said.

"A little too much 'me Tarzan, you Jane'?" he asked with a contrite look.

As I leaned down to kiss him, I said, "Me Tarzan now." Then three things happened at once. I traced his lips with my tongue, I unbuttoned his shirt and exposed his chest, and I practiced my kegels on his lap. His hands returned to my waist trying to minimize the "damage" I caused with the kegels. I nibbled at his earlobes, tongued and kissed his neck, and stopped to spend time introducing my tongue to his nipples.

"You bitch,"he growled and the next thing I knew, I was on my back with my arms pinned to the sides.

"Jacob, you promised to be nice," I warned, but the trace of panic in my voice only made him grin...grin hugely.

"Who's Tarzan now?"and then he did exactly what I had done to him. By the time he reached my nipples, I was zooming out of control. He let go of my arms to unzip my jeans and the squirm began. My arms reached over my head and I went into an alligator roll as I tried to get air. Jacob grabbed me by the back of my jeans and pulled back. He gently took my hands in his, trapped me under his body, and whispered his love for me until I relaxed.

"Jacob," I whispered. "This scares me." He started to let me go misinterpreting what I meant. He looked horrified to think that possibly he had hurt me. I pulled him back so I could feel the safety of his arms around me. "No, Jacob, you didn't do anything that I was unwilling to do. I mean the power of my feelings scares me. I left a controlling relationship behind and I'm afraid I could let you control me."

"Honey, everything I have, everything I am, is yours. I couldn't deny you anything. You always had that power. I'm the one who should be afraid," he concluded with a half smile. He rolled to the side and spooned for a few minutes. He left the bed for a second and when he returned, I knew he was naked. His hands slowly slid my jeans off as he kissed the back of my neck, a particularly vulnerable spot. When my jeans were off, I turned to face him. As I looked into his eyes, I knew this man would never hurt me or judge me or try to change me. I also knew that I loved him and I always had.

"I'm yours," I said as I reached up to meet his lips. I would love to say our lovemaking was slow and gentle and wonderful, but it wasn't. It was crazy, mad, and beyond any experience I had ever imagined. I was reaching a point where the squirm would own me when Jacob began to crumble. It's a terrible and wonderful thing to see a grown man cry. I was somewhere on Jupiter when Jacob folded. I was able to get back to earth to be with him as he crashed into me.

Earth to Bella...this is love.

Minutes or hours later, Jacob got up and sat on the edge of the bed. I noticed a tattoo on his left shoulder. When I looked closer, it was a swan, a black swan. "Jacob, the tattoo?"

He looked at me with those liquid brown eyes and said, "This is you and me, Black and Swan. I've always known."

I saw my future with Jacob, solid and trusting. I said, "I want that tattoo. I want it written on my flesh that we belong together."

"Does that mean you'll be staying for breakfast?" he asked with a grin.

"Absolutely," I said. I spooned up to his back, he grabbed my legs as I circled my arms around his neck, and we headed to the shower.


End file.
